Almost the end of 5th Semester

Assalamualaikum

How are you guys doing? May Allah protect us, as always :)

So, today i would like to share a bit about my 5th semester which is a very super duper tough semester ive been gone through. Honestly, im afraid that i'll make something that is unforgivable.

As ive been in a very difficult situation regarding my result on my 4th semester, ive tried to improve in my 5th semester. And the hardest part is, my core subjects are quite difficult. The assignments were hard. Ive been struggling in completing every single things and ive put my best efforts for each assignment. 

I dont know what will happen to my carry mark but i am begging to Allah to give me the best result, and make me stronger to finish my degree. It was very hard. Everything seems difficult and i dont know whether im okay or not. I hope everything will be fine. Hopefully.

As time passes, i discover that, ive been stop doing what is good for me to do. And you know what, it took a very big challenge to start all over again. Yes, it was very very hard. I dont know what should i start first, but i am trying the best me to do every single thing back, just the way i used to do it long time ago.

 Kenkadang, jeles betol dengan manusia gifted. Diorang mcm tak perlu nak struggle lebih utk pass. Tapi bila fikir dalam-dalam, 

WHY MUST YOU QUESTION EVERY SINGLE THING THAT ALLAH HAS PLANNED FOR YOU AND OTHERS?

WHY MUST YOU COMPARE YOURSELF WITH OTHERS?

WHY NOT YOU KEEP ON STRUGGLING BECAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAY, ALLAH WILL JUDGE YOU ON HOW MUCH EFFORTS YOU HAVE PUT TO BE SUCCESS?

AND, WHY MUST YOU BE APART FROM ALLAH, WHEN YOU KNOW THAT ALLAH IS THE ONLY HELP THAT YOU CAN RELY ON?

Yes, lately i keep on thinking about this kind of things. Kadang-kadang bila aku terobek degree life aku, aku sendiri tanya apa yang aku kejar sebenarnya? Aku selalu lost. Aku tahu yang mana baik, yang mana jahat tapi aku tetap buat benda lagha.

Kalau dulu, yes, memang akan ada orang tegur. Tapi dah zaman universiti, you have to take care of yourself as no one will care about you, just the way you care about yourself. Lagi susah, which susah sangat bila kita cuba untuk fit in dgn certain situation.

Aku sendiri kenkadang mula rasa nak putus asa dengan diri sendiri sebab i dont think that im doing the right thing that i should do. I should be studying, focus more on my future career but i dont have that strength, that spirit that inspire me, encourage me to do so.

Di saat orang lain busy amek degree dan ACCA, i keep questioning myself, kau bila lagi? Kata nak jd professional akauntan, professional paper pun kau tak berani nak amek. Hmmmm. Bila kau rasa degree pun dah mcm apa, and skrg kau plan nak amek professional paper pulak? I dont know what to do. Seriously.

Mungkin. Allah nak aku sedar. Yang aku dah byk lupa kat dia. Banyak sangat. Aku cuba. Walau susah mcm mana, aku still cuba. Bukan senang nak berjaya. Dan aku nak, apa yg aku usahakan tuh, bukan lah sesuatu yang sia-sia.

Doakan aku, mampu dan terus kuat.

Believe in yourself, Stay humble and Have faith in Allah :)

Sekian, assalamualaikum.

Asshra.