Tears while reaching 22
Assalamualaikum and hello.
Alhamdulillah, officially 22 on 14th Feb 2018.
Despite being older by one year, i discover that i am having my great difficulties on reaching 22 years old. And now, i am gaining back my spirit, trying hard to throw away that giving up feelings. It was hard as i am not used to be tested with this kind of things.
Dah TIGA hari berturut mata asyek berair. Tinggal sensorang, mula lah berangan lepas tuh menangis. Baca motivation quotes from people, menangis terus. Tgok gambar mak ayah, bergenang lagi. Tgok buku, berair lagi.
Hati tisu sangat. Tak tau lah macam mana nak jadi kuat. Susah, berat, payah. Tapi hidup kena diteruskan.
14 FEB 2018
0000H - Sepatutnya kena turun bawah, muster sebab katanya YO nak jumpa semua PALAPES yang hadir meeting bersama Pengetua malam tuh. Maka dengan penuh rasa malas, dengan hanya menyarung tudung indon, aku pun turun sambil bawak lappy (sbb habis perjumpaan, ada meeting dgn ranks pulak). Masa tengah turun, diorang tengah muster, nak lalu depan macam segan lah pulak. So aku pun decide lah untuk lalu jalan jauh, sekali dengan Kak Iman & Arina. Tetiba nampak Yatt berlari ke kereta Ana sambil macam tengah sorok something which is CAKE. Sumpah kelakar sebab rupanya diorang (GEMPITA) nak buat suprise untuk aku, kirah dengan Kak Iman. Malangnya terkantoi sebab aku lalu jalan tuh.
Then, malam tuh, diorang pun nyanyi makan kek etc. That time, air mata dah kering, so tak dpt nak menangis terharu dengan effort diorang. But honestly, aku langsung tak expect diorang nak sambut. Sebab ye lah, siapa lah syahidah chetak. But tuh laa, sangkaan meleset. ALhamdulillah for this :)
Then, around 1 pagi tetiba nak pegi meeting ranks, dengar orang panggil nama. Rupanya Linda dengan Ziha. Dtg kat diorang, diorang nyanyi sambil pegang kek. Another cake, alhamdulillah, im speechless. Tak tau nak express macam mana but i really appreciate evryone efforts, to cheer me up. Thank You Allah, for these wonderful people around me. I couldnt ask for more.
Since hari rabu kelas lambat, watches pun takde maka aku bangun agak lambat dri biasa. Sampai jer kelas, tak sempat duduk, diorang tanya pasal result test redeem semalam. Aku terus cek email. And guess what, i failed to pass.
Sedih. Kecewa dengan diri sendiri. Tapi someone pernah cakap, "Kau sendiri tahu kan, tahap kau mcm mana. Kau mesti tahu apa yang kau akan dapat." These sentences surely made me sedar diri. I know that i wont pass as i failed to finish the worksheet, (Dr dah pesan dari awal, worksheet tak siap, automatically, youll get zero). So, yahhh, aku redha. I can accept the fact.
The fact that will give me a huge challenge in future. Ada jer terfikir nak menipu, tapi Allah bagi petunjuk. Kalau aku buat, it wont solve any problem but it will create more problems in future. So, during the class, after received the result, i made the decision, the one that ive been overthinking a lot until tears be my bestfriend for the past 3 days.
So, for now, ill keep on motivating myself, seek for Allah guidance, improving myself, and believe in Allah promise.
It wasnt easy to get out from that zone, it was very very hard. I was thinking of quitting, but my roommate has made me realise that, "LEARN TO REST, NOT TO QUIT".
Maybe this is my fate. This is the way Allah is testing me in order for me to be better.
May success be with me in future. May Allah give me His blessings in everything i do. May Allah guide my heart to the right path. May Allah prevent me from do stupid things.
Rabbi Yassir Wala Tu'assir.
Sekian,
Asshra.
Alhamdulillah, officially 22 on 14th Feb 2018.
Despite being older by one year, i discover that i am having my great difficulties on reaching 22 years old. And now, i am gaining back my spirit, trying hard to throw away that giving up feelings. It was hard as i am not used to be tested with this kind of things.
Dah TIGA hari berturut mata asyek berair. Tinggal sensorang, mula lah berangan lepas tuh menangis. Baca motivation quotes from people, menangis terus. Tgok gambar mak ayah, bergenang lagi. Tgok buku, berair lagi.
Hati tisu sangat. Tak tau lah macam mana nak jadi kuat. Susah, berat, payah. Tapi hidup kena diteruskan.
14 FEB 2018
0000H - Sepatutnya kena turun bawah, muster sebab katanya YO nak jumpa semua PALAPES yang hadir meeting bersama Pengetua malam tuh. Maka dengan penuh rasa malas, dengan hanya menyarung tudung indon, aku pun turun sambil bawak lappy (sbb habis perjumpaan, ada meeting dgn ranks pulak). Masa tengah turun, diorang tengah muster, nak lalu depan macam segan lah pulak. So aku pun decide lah untuk lalu jalan jauh, sekali dengan Kak Iman & Arina. Tetiba nampak Yatt berlari ke kereta Ana sambil macam tengah sorok something which is CAKE. Sumpah kelakar sebab rupanya diorang (GEMPITA) nak buat suprise untuk aku, kirah dengan Kak Iman. Malangnya terkantoi sebab aku lalu jalan tuh.
Then, malam tuh, diorang pun nyanyi makan kek etc. That time, air mata dah kering, so tak dpt nak menangis terharu dengan effort diorang. But honestly, aku langsung tak expect diorang nak sambut. Sebab ye lah, siapa lah syahidah chetak. But tuh laa, sangkaan meleset. ALhamdulillah for this :)
Then, around 1 pagi tetiba nak pegi meeting ranks, dengar orang panggil nama. Rupanya Linda dengan Ziha. Dtg kat diorang, diorang nyanyi sambil pegang kek. Another cake, alhamdulillah, im speechless. Tak tau nak express macam mana but i really appreciate evryone efforts, to cheer me up. Thank You Allah, for these wonderful people around me. I couldnt ask for more.
Since hari rabu kelas lambat, watches pun takde maka aku bangun agak lambat dri biasa. Sampai jer kelas, tak sempat duduk, diorang tanya pasal result test redeem semalam. Aku terus cek email. And guess what, i failed to pass.
Sedih. Kecewa dengan diri sendiri. Tapi someone pernah cakap, "Kau sendiri tahu kan, tahap kau mcm mana. Kau mesti tahu apa yang kau akan dapat." These sentences surely made me sedar diri. I know that i wont pass as i failed to finish the worksheet, (Dr dah pesan dari awal, worksheet tak siap, automatically, youll get zero). So, yahhh, aku redha. I can accept the fact.
The fact that will give me a huge challenge in future. Ada jer terfikir nak menipu, tapi Allah bagi petunjuk. Kalau aku buat, it wont solve any problem but it will create more problems in future. So, during the class, after received the result, i made the decision, the one that ive been overthinking a lot until tears be my bestfriend for the past 3 days.
Thank you Ana, sebab layan aku.
So, for now, ill keep on motivating myself, seek for Allah guidance, improving myself, and believe in Allah promise.
It wasnt easy to get out from that zone, it was very very hard. I was thinking of quitting, but my roommate has made me realise that, "LEARN TO REST, NOT TO QUIT".
Maybe this is my fate. This is the way Allah is testing me in order for me to be better.
May success be with me in future. May Allah give me His blessings in everything i do. May Allah guide my heart to the right path. May Allah prevent me from do stupid things.
Rabbi Yassir Wala Tu'assir.
Sekian,
Asshra.
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